Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
