Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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