I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
