So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
