People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
