there's paper in my vomit.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
