Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
