so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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