Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
