The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
