Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
