I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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