when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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