If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
