We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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