I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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