Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
