Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
