My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
