nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
