Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
