I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
