Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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