We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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