I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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