Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
