A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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