its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
