I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
