so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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