so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize