Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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