I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
