Do you still have your period?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
