If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
