Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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