Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
