Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
