she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
