Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
