Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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