My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
