She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize