her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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