yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
