Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm getting married
To pizza
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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