My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
