why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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