i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
