i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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