I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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