i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize