Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
