If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize