So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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