I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
