I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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